Sooner or later the same question appears in the guests’ chat: what are we giving? A gender party and a baby shower really are similar, both are about waiting for the baby, both come with a cake, balloons and photos all evening. That similarity is what confuses people, because the two celebrations are different in essence. Which means the gifts they call for are different too.
How these two celebrations differ
A gender party is held when the baby’s sex is revealed, most often between the sixteenth and twentieth week. There is one main event of the evening: the moment everyone sees the colour. It is a celebration about the news.
A baby shower is held later, closer to the third trimester. This is already a send-off into motherhood: the guests come to be there before a big change and bring something for the mother and for the baby. It is a celebration about getting ready.
Hence the simple logic. A gender party calls for a light gift, because half the way is still ahead. A baby shower calls for the one the mother will take with her into her new life.
What to give at a gender party
The main rule of the evening sounds unexpected: the gift should not guess the sex.
You would think that is exactly what everyone has just found out, but over the coming months enough pink and blue will be given to fill a whole wardrobe. Whereas things that work regardless of the colour will be few.
The best fit here is a pregnancy journal. The term is exactly right: many weeks are still ahead and the mother will have time to live them with her book. Besides, the journal has a place for the first ultrasound scan, and at a gender party that scan is in everyone’s hands anyway.
Among the lighter options, good choices are an ultrasound envelope, a pregnancy test keepsake box and a gold engraved pen. A few hundred hryvnias, and they are unwrapped in front of everyone and passed around straight away.
And one more idea that is rarely mentioned: the “My 12 Months” photo card set. It will only be needed after the birth, and yet it is exactly what turns monthly photos into a series instead of random shots on a phone. A year later those twelve pictures add up to a first year of life.
What to give at a baby shower
Here the gift can already be the main one.
There are only weeks left before the meeting, and the mother is thinking not about the news but about how it will all go. So the most fitting thing is something that starts working from the first days after the birth.
At a baby shower an almost safe bet is the baby book. Its first chapters are about waiting, so it can be started before the birth, and after that the book follows the child for years. If you are hesitating between the book and the journal, we covered that separately in the article “Pregnancy journal or baby book”.
Those who want to give everything at once will like a baby keepsake box. The book is already inside, and next to it there is room for the hospital tag, the first lock of hair and all those small things that appear from day one.
If the celebration is early and the birth is still far away, look towards a pregnancy journal. It is not about the future, it is about the time that is going on right now.
A joint gift from the guests
At both celebrations this is the most convenient format.
The guests chip in, and instead of five sweet little things you get one thing the mother actually wanted. A keepsake box is almost ideal here: it looks like an event at the moment of giving and keeps filling up for many months after the party.
It is easy to organise. One person starts a chat, names the amount, collects the money and picks up the order. And those who want to add something personal put their own small thing next to it with a note.
And here is what happens with such a gift later. The box will be opened more than once: when the tag is brought home from the hospital, when the first lock of hair is cut, when the first drawing turns up. And every time the mother will remember that evening and the people who were there.
What else is worth keeping in mind
A few general tips that apply to both celebrations.
Agree on the gifts in advance. Such celebrations gather a lot of people, and repeats happen all the time. A minute in a group chat saves everyone money, and saves the mother her wardrobe.
Look at the term, not at the size. Clothes to grow into are almost impossible to guess, because you have to match both the size and the season. Things that have no size are a safe bet in this sense.
Sign the gift. A year later nobody remembers who gave what. A few handwritten lines settle that for good and make the gift personal.
Remember the mother, not only the baby. At a baby shower nine out of ten gifts are about the child. The single one addressed to her is the one remembered best.
Go by the amount you are comfortable with. At a gender party people usually give small delights, at a baby shower the gift is weightier, and a joint one from all the guests comes out the biggest. No option is better than the others: a small thing with a note often brings more joy than an expensive thing chosen at random.
Order in advance. A celebration is planned weeks ahead, and the gift is often bought the day before. Nova Poshta delivers across Ukraine in one or two days, but it is calmer to order earlier and not count the hours.
Both celebrations are about the same thing: people want to be there at an important moment. A gift that lives on into the coming years makes that presence last longer than the evening itself.
